Yesterday was my birthday and, due to my Canadian-low-key-personality, until Saturday afternoon I wasn’t too sure if I wanted to do something (anything) involving other people than myself or just let the day pass without fuss. Main reasons being “I’m terrible at parties of any kind”, and I mean it. There’s the fact that I don’t drink any alcohol, I’m unable to make small talk and there’s also my (not so) recent indisposition towards food of almost any kind. Whenever people say “bring food or drinks” I’m stuck and I also feel bad if I don’t bring anything. The turning point was when May told me she would spend most of the day at school, finishing up her last big assignment for this term. My options then were to stay home working on the reel – which I already felt pretty happy with what I have for this Term’s final presentation, so it would be kind of stall-working -, watch a thousand episodes of something or play a game – I’ve been doing this too much, lately -, go to the movies – too lazy for a Sunday, the movies are always packed -, or meet some people to talk. Last option was definitely a winner. Now, another choice: go out, or invite people over? Taking into consideration the above-mentioned facts, inviting people over was an easy choice.
The plan was to have not so many people in a way that I would be unable to listen and talk to everyone, or feel uncomfortable squeezed somewhere (the apartment is very small, you know), and, on the opposite side, not sit around all day waiting for everyone to show up and having just one or two people over – curiously, this actually happened at some point and was nothing close to my worries. I think I’m worrying too much about social things, and the day ended up being all of the above possible scenarios. During the morning I worked on my reel, nothing major, just a couple tracks and cleanup, stuff that’s easy to do and doesn’t take much planning.
By the time I got tired of tracking and removing brands it was almost 1:30pm and I suddenly got curious about playing Transistor – got the game a couple weeks back and didn’t get excited to play it until yesterday. Sure, why not? Played for a while until Paul arrived. We hadn’t talked for a very long time and we used to be like twin brothers (or a couple, to some people, in the most awkward situations) when we moved to Vancouver. School has played a major part breaking us apart and we talked for three hours non-stop yesterday, until he had to go, rehearse for a presentation today. I was walking with him to the bus stop when the phone rang and Pan asked me about my exact address. Time to get back home!
The moment I entered the apartment, Fernão called as he arrived at the Lobby. Before we got up, Pan arrived too. After a while, Maísa got here, and then around 5:30, Petar, Clem and Dani, that were at school. Nicko and Nat also showed up, then May came home early – and so tired, poor thing – and the last one to arrive was Rityka. The most people we had here, before yesterday was when I was shooting the reel, that Nicko, Petar, May and I walked around light stands and cameras. Feels good to know this place can take a 10-people party without falling apart – and by the time we were done the apartment was almost as clean and organized as the moment we started. I didn’t see this one coming, and also a good surprise, on a day of good surprises.
Speaking of good surprises, Rityka even brought cake – so it was officially a birthday party – and the cake had a number of slices that matched precisely the number of people in here. Oh, and it was a goooood cake. I have pictures to prove it.
Back to my social awkwardness. I always feel I’m too quiet and isolated so that people don’t actually know me. I’m much more interested in listening than talking, if I don’t feel like going to things and places, I won’t do it and won’t feel bad about it either. It’s not that I do it on purpose, I just don’t know any other way of being. It feels a little strange being like that AND being the host at the same time, gotta tell you this, but yesterday all I felt I was that I was among true friends and I enjoyed every single thing that happened. VFX111 also kind of wrecked my illusion that “people don’t know me” based on what they gave me and brought as food (granola bars, chocolate (different options), cake, cookies, chips and ice cream). Nothing could say “we know you, dude, and we care about you” louder than what you did, guys. Thank you for the best birthday abroad I had so far – not that I had any other, but without you, this one wouldn’t even count.
I feel there’s still something left to say, but it’s early morning and my english fails me. I’ll finish it up with our group photo for the combination of strange and yet amazing elements in it sums up how I’d love my life to be until next year comes.
Now I feel weird about this post, but I’ve spent almost an hour finding the words and I don’t talk much, so, fuck it.
ps – Thank you, Rityka, for the pictures, and the caaake!